Naturally, the poor bloke went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him. “Shit!” he moaned “this means I’ll never be able to experience an erection ever again!” “Of course you will” one of the doctors soothed. It’ll just have to be someone else’s, that’s all”.A guy is driving out in the middle of nowhere, very lost. Finally he spots two houses so he goes up to the first house and looks in the door way. He sees an old lady yanking on her boobs and an old man jerking off. He is so freaked out that he goes to the next house and says “What’s up with your neighbours?” and the owner of the house says “Oh that’s the Robinson’s, they’re both deaf. She’s telling him to go milk the cow and he’s telling her to go fuck herself!”An out of work actor gets a call from his agent one day. “I’ve got you a job” says the agent. “That’s great!” says the actor “What is it?” “Well” says the agent “it’s a one-liner” “That’s okay” replies the actor “I’ve been out of work for. This woman is lookin’ hella-sexy sitting right here in a pair of jeans.’ Amy’s phone rang. ‘Hello?’ ‘Hey Amy, Listen, I don’t mean to be a jerk. All three dresses look amazing on you, really. It’s just… I had this weird dream last night, and… I really don’t want to come across like a crazy-jealous guy — I have no right, I know — but… would you be willing to indulge me and just send a text when you get home from your date? Just to let me know you got home okay? I know, it’s crazy, I hate to even hear myself say it out loud, but it would put my mind at ease. Even if you fall in love with this schmuck and bring him home with you, that’s your business — just send me an ‘ok’ or something. Okay?’ Amy paused hoping to just get one word out without her voice cracking. ‘Yes,’ she whispered and hung up the phone. She didn’t look at Tracy right away because she didn’t want to explain the tears in her eyes. Someone cares. Someone will know when I get home safely, even if he is all the way across.
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